A busy week

A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will make sense in reverse. -Philip Yancey

Teddy and I about to feed some alligators. 

Driving into Saigon was such a mixture of emotions. I was sad to leave Cambodia, yet excited to be in such a familiar city. Walking the streets of Saigon feels very much like walking around downtown Nashville to me. I know my way around, but I'm always discovering something new. Our first day in Saigon Amanda, Teddy, and I decided to just walk around. We were tired of sitting down on our long bus ride, and wanted to get some fresh air. The bus ride was a really sweet time for me. I got to catch up with my fiance, Teddy. We both enjoyed just enjoy sitting with each other and talking face to face. Our ride was filled with so  much laughter and joy. 

After we walked around the city and ate dinner, I decided to call a few young girls that my family has known for years. These 3 girls all grew up on the streets of Vietnam, and my family stayed in contact with them for over 10 years. Two of their stories will break your heart, and one of them is filled with hope and a future. These girls are like little sisters to me. They are always the first people I contact when I arrive in Saigon. I've laughed, cried, held, comforted, helped, and listened to these girls when they needed someone...anyone to talk to. My family has walked with them through pregnancies, abuse, and poverty. These young girls have already gone through and seen more than I will in my whole life. One of these young girls is only 18, and she is having to take care of two babies without the help of any emotional or physical support. She spends her entire day sell postcards on the street so she can feed her little ones.

"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." -Psalm 59:16

Every time I am able to see them again it's like we've never been apart. We all went to the park and I got to introduce them to Teddy, which was really fun. None of them could believe that I'm getting married. Having Teddy join me for a part of this trip was so much fun. I loved getting to show him my heart for these people and this country. I know that it made us so much stronger as a couple. There were easy times and hard times, but every part was good.

The next week of our trip was spent with the HOL children at camp. Our days were quickly filled with swimming, teaching, crafts, games, songs, eating vietnamese food, and so much more. I think my favorite part at camp this year was being able to sit down and talk with some of the children that were really struggling last year. They told me about all the ways the Lord had helped them and revealed himself to them. I remember crying with a few of these children last year begging the Lord to help them not only feel loved, but to know it in their soul. The Lord answered those prayers in ways that I didn't even think possible. The pain and anger that I saw in these children's eyes had turned into joy and laughter. It was truly amazing.

The little boy that I sponsor and love!

It was also fun to get to see my little boy that I sponsor. Teddy seemed to really connect with him as well. By the end of the trip Little "B" always seemed to be waiting by our side. He's not a child that asks for attention, but you can tell when he wants it. He always seems to get this sweet little smirk on his face that was irresistible. It was hard to walk by him and not always pick him up and love on him.

Teddy and I loving on some of the HOL kids. 

Another one of my favorite moments at camp was the time that I got to spend singing praise songs with the children. Hearing them lift up their voices to the Lord was an amazing, spiritual experience. These children don't just sing the words to the songs, they proclaim and rejoice with ever bit of sound they have. They sing and praise the Lord until they are so overwhelmed with his power and love that they cry. It gives me chill bumps every time I even think about it. I've never been in a service in the states where I saw so many people/children worshiping with their entire being the way that these children do. At one point one of the homes put on a drama skit, and I've seen this skit done before, but never have I seen it done with such impact. All the members in our group were speechless...completely speechless. There was a good 15 seconds were I couldn't even move. I'm certain that the Lord has gifted these children with the power to spread the gospel like fire, and not when they are older, but now!

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. -John 14:18

God sets the lonely in families. - Psalm 68:6

Serving the Lord with my sweet baby sister!

enjoying the market 

These last few days have been a time of rest for Amanda and I. We have enjoyed a few nice meals on the beach together, tried to catch up on sleep, read our books, and just tried to relax. This next week is going to be filled with interviews and meetings as we travel around to a few of our homes. We are both tired, and try to sleep when ever we have a free hour. Pray the Lord gives us energy to finish this trip strong. I can't believe that this is our last week here. I know it will be such a bittersweet time when we leave.

My heart breaks

A man living in a water village. He has to rebuild the bridge to his house everyday!

My heart breaks. My heart longs to help the people in this country. I can't stop thinking about the people I've met, the eyes I've made contact with. The face of an HIV positive woman, not much older than me. I met her through a new friend that had an NGO along the river. He told me that he found her sleeping on the railroad tracks. No one cared for her, but he took her in.  She was dying when he found her. Dying of starvation; dying of AIDS; dying of no self worth; dying of no one to care for her. My heart broke for her. She didn't have a single tooth in her mouth. I can't imagine the poverty she has been through in her 25 years of life, and that wasn't the end the of her story. As she walked out of her "house" to meet us she brought a sweet baby girl, not much older than my 2 year old niece. Thinking it was her child, I asked if she had more children. She responded by saying she didn't have any of her own children. She told me that one of her friends asked her to care for the child and never came home to get her. She had been taking care of the baby for over a year. This sweet girl couldn't even care for herself. The baby broke my heart. She was completely unresponsive, very malnourished, and had eyes that seemed to have been exposed to the entire world. It's so hard for me to just meet these people, and walk away. It's so hard to see the need and not do anything about it to help. It reminds me how incredibly blessed I am, and will be for the rest of my life. Even if I were to go bankrupt, I'd still be blessed compared to these beautiful people.

on our first bus to Cambodia. Can't believe we are leaving tomorrow.

The Blaine's

Our last few days in Cambodia have been filled with meetings and experiences. My head is overflowing with all the information that I have been given this past week. It has been neat to see how even after a long hard day the Lord always provides Amanda and I with a good laugh, meal, thought, or conversation. It has been such a blessing to travel with such a dear friend that has the same heart as I do. It feels like I'm traveling with a sister. We are such a great team. I tend to do more of the hands on work/interviews during meetings and she is the one that writes all the notes and emails. It's a great system that we have going on. We are both getting really sad about leaving Cambodia. We love it here. It's starting to feel like home. We have also made such dear friends. The Blaines, whom I've talk about in a few blogs, took us into their home with great hospitality. They treated us like family, and we are are so thankful for them.

Tomorrow we leave for Vietnam. We are excited to see what the Lord does with us there. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. We have felt them throughout this whole trip!

Kampong Cham

Sweet little girl along the river in Kampong Cham

Walking on the streets of Cambodia I am constantly asking myself one question..."Why on earth do I love this place so much?" Cambodia is poor, dirty, loud, corrupt, and I'm constantly praying over my food asking the Lord to keep me from getting sick. The only answer that I've come up with is that the Lord put a burden on my heart for the people of Cambodia and Vietnam. When I think about both places I don't think about the hardships and sad situations, I think about how genuine and kind these people are. I think about the children that I come across in the streets and how I can't walk away until I get at least one smile. I think about how my heart aches to let them know that they matter and are loved by the God of the UNIVERSE. I think about our tuktuk driver who pulled off the road on our long trip home and offered to buy us energy drinks because we looked so tired. Everyone that we've come across in Asia have genuinely cared for us. This morning our guesthouse staff not only brought us breakfast to our room, but brought a huge wooden table for us to eat it on. Everyone that I've met in Cambodia have gone above and beyond to make sure that we are cared for and comfortable. It doesn't matter where I am, the people in Cambodia make me feel like I'm at home.

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones."

Proverbs 15:30

A typical scene in the market.

So far our trip has been very relaxing and encouraging. After spending a few days with our dear friends, the Blaines, we traveled to a near by city called Kampong Cham. It was about a 4 hour bus ride from PP. I've always loved traveling by bus or train in foreign countries. It's a forced time to sit and be still. I spent all four hours listening to my music, in prayer, and watching the people as we drove deeper into the countryside. I love watching the people that live in the villages. I know their lives aren't easy. I know they have to work harder then most Americans, myself included, will ever be able to comprehend.  And what makes it so eye opening is that they aren't working hard to put money away into savings. They are working this hard to nearly survive, but there's something so simple and beautiful about village life. It's something that whenever I see I long for. I watched as women gathered together laughing and talking about life as they were making baskets; and their little ones would be running around half clothed swimming, playing with the water buffalo, and making up games with items they would find in nature. I watched as the children comforted each other when one would be upset or hurt. They are such a good example of what people in a community should live like. They all look out for each other, and share what possessions they have. They don't find their happiness in worldly items, but in relationships. It makes me long to learn their language, travel to their villages, develop relationships with them, and most importantly share the gospel with them.  I long for them to know the happiness that isn't of this world, but is an overwhelming Joy from the Lord! My heart aches to share the gospel with these beautiful people.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Isaiah 61:1

A small floating village in Kampong Cham where most of the Vietnamese population live.

When we arrived in Kampong Cham we met with a local pastor and his wife. After taking us into their home and serving us a home cooked meal, they took us to see their ministry. Their goal in Cambodia is to set up programs that empower, equip, and strengthen pastors. Their dream is to set up centers for pastors to come to for a short period of time, and to teach them the word, but then have them return to their home churches. This couple has a true heart for the Lord, and have offered assistance in anyway they can. They encouraged us to continue with the dream and vision that the Lord has given us. I think Amanda and I walked into this trip not knowing if people were going to take us seriously or not because we are so young, but we have seen the exact opposite happen. People have encouraged us more BECAUSE we are young.

Me "trying" to eat a tarantula. I was able to consume one leg :).

Kampong Cham was also a time of rest and fun for Amanda and I. Kampong Cham somewhat in the countryside, which being from TN, we both felt more at home. We stayed in a hotel that overlooked the river, did some zumba in the park with the locals, ate a few spiders, and had a nice long dinner where we were able to just enjoy each others friendship and talk about life's struggles and joys.

Camodia bound 2012

    As my sweet friend, Amanda Bryant, said in her blog its a strange feeling walking off the plane in Vietnam and feeling like nothing is out of the norm. I knew what to expect. I knew who to look for. And I knew what it was going to smell like. I will probably feel more out of place when I return home and walk out of the airport in Nashville because I don't know where I'm going to go, and I don't know what it's going to look like. The only thing I do know is that my fiance and family are going to pick me up. It was a nice sensation walking off the plane feeling like I was somewhat home, especially after two days of traveling. It's such a relaxing feeling to know that when I'm in Saigon I know where to go, and where certain stores are, where the good sweets are, where the market is, and how to contact close friends if I was to ever be sick or in danger.
   Pulling into Cambodia, after a five hour bus ride the next day, I had the exact opposite feeling. As we were on our bus Amanda and I realized that we miscalculated what day we were going to arrive in Cambodia. We both realized that we booked our hotel a day late, which meant we had nowhere to stay our first night! When our bus pulled into the city Amanda and I looked at each other with a look in our eyes that said "well....what are we going to do now?" We decided to get a tuktuk and go to the only place we were familiar with, which is a coffee shop/ministry called Jars of Clay. Upon pulling into the shop we saw a big sign on the door that said, "UNDER CONSTRUCTION! We will open again in a few months." At this point we were both trying to think very quickly of what to do next. Looking around I saw another coffee shop across the street. We decided to grab a drink and use their wifi to look up local guest houses. We were both extremely tired, jet lagged, and a little brain dead. When nothing seemed to be working out we finally decided to quickly call (because our phone was dying) the one person we knew in Cambodia, which was the Blaines.They recently moved to Cambodia and have been good friends with me for the past few years. Luckily they came to our rescue and found us a 5 dollar hostel and helped us get situated. Praise the Lord.
    We are now staying in our originally planed guest house with the Blaines and are having a great time. Amanda and I have been to the local Russian and night market were we bought our favorite Asian fruits, and we have also eaten amazing Vietnamese, Thai, Khmer, and soon to be Mexican food.  We also went to a local coffee house that beats anything I've seen in Nashville. We are really enjoying our time with the Blaines and their little baby girl Clara.
   Today we went to a local Anglican Church, which was really nice. They seemed to have a number of people that were around our age. We also ran into a few people that we have meetings with later on in the week. I'm starting to realize PP isn't as big as I thought it was. Tonight Amanda and I are going to a local International church, which we are also excited about. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers. We are both doing great and staying healthy. I also here our 75-90 degree weather is a lot better thn everyone else in the states ;). We are traveling to a near by city tomorrow to meet with a Vietnamese pastor so please pray for safe travels and encouraging meetings.

Dog

The last week that I was in Vietnam was one of the highlights of my trip. For safety reasons I'm not going to say where I was or who I was working with, but I will say that it was amazing. I had the chance to go to a three different drug rehab centers for where all they use is the Fathers word, worship, and the encouragement/ fellowship of each other to get clean. It's an amazing ministry, and I feel honored to have been exposed to it. I was able to sit with the men and hear their hearts and struggles. I was able to talk to them about my own experience with friends that struggle with drug addictions. The men even gave me advice on how to help my friends. It was so sweet and dear. It still blows my mind to think that these were some of the most dangerous men in Vietnam, and noww the Lord has filled them with such compassion and a heart to serve and love. They treated me with respect, and being a Brother in the word, they truly treated me like a sister. As one of my friends said , "It's hard just walking on the streets because guys look at me like I'm a piece of meat, but when I come across a believer it's so different. They respect me not only with their actions, but with their eyes."

The second rehab center I went to was an experience I will never forget. It started off with a long restful nap on the bamboo mat. I was woken up to someone informing me that dinner was ready. It smelled wonderful. Once we set the food on the floor we all sat in a circle and dug in. I asked what kind of meat we were eating and I was informed it was "baby cow". Seeing as how all 10 of the other Vietnamese people agreed I didn't think twice about it. After taking my first bite I looked around to see if anyone was watching and then spit it out in my napkin. It was terrible. I couldn't understand why it tasted so bad. I eventually had to eat it, because people kept putting the "best pieces" in my bowl. I remember asking the chef, who was sitting right across from me, "Wow, this is so good. Where did you learn to make this?" His response was, "Prison." I immediately started laughing and said, "Thats awesome." I also started getting really curious because everyone was speaking in Vietnamese and no one was translating what was going on. Everyone looked really suspicious. That's when I started to wonder if I was really eating baby cow.

After dinner we were informed to go outside for some fruit. I was the first to walk outside, but not the first to see what was waiting for us on the table. I was looking at Bekah who was screaming and yelling, "WHAT IS IT??? TELL MEEEE!!!" When I turned around a saw a dog head on a platter in the middle of all the fruit. We had been tricked. After about 10min. of looking at the dog head I started feeling so sick. I kept telling the guys that they needed to take it awa,y or I was going to hurl. They thought it was so funny. I'm pretty sure that they have the whole dinner on video. I guess it was kind of funny now that it's over.

Leaving Vietnam was terrible. I started crying while we were driving to the airport and I didn't stop until we arrived in Japan. Saying good-bye to such dear friends was so incredibly hard. When I actually had to say good-bye my dear friends just cried with me. Leaving Vietnam this past trip was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Once I got on the plane and started to soar down the runway, I weeped. I weeped the whole way to Japan and Rebekah just held me. The sweet flight attendant ended up bringing me about 10 bags of peanuts in hopes of helping me feel better ha. At one point she even sat on the ground and was just rubbing my back. It was so sweet. Once I got to Japan I slept the entire 12 hours that we were in that airport. I don't know when I'm going back, but I know it wont be long. Vietnam is home, and Cambodia is a new place that is heavy on my heart. I already find myself researching language schools and social work jobs.

Eden of Asia

Waiting for Rebekah in the Hanoi airport I recollected my thoughts from the previous night in Nha Trang. My mom had given me enough money to enjoy a nice meal on the beach. As I sat their eating my "greek wrap" I couldn't help but watch all the people dinning around me. I noticed a lot of young couples, maybe honeymooners; I noticed a group of business men sharing a drink and laughing; I noticed two girls enjoying each others friendship over a warm pizza, but what caught my attention the most was the group sitting directly across from me. The group consisted of two older men sitting on both sides of a beautiful Vietnamese girl. I noticed the way she gestured her body towards them, and the placement of her hand on their shoulders and back. I noticed the fear in her eyes. I was there for a while so I also noticed how many drinks they continually kept buying her. I noticed the way the guys would look at each other and then at her in a way of saying "score". I no longer had an appetite. My heart broke for that young girl trapped in that horrible industry. I wanted to walk over to the table, tell those men how disgusting they were. I wanted to tell that beautiful innocent girl about the love of Jesus and how he could save her from that way of life. I wanted to give her hope. I wanted to strip away the glaze that covered her eyes, and tell her that she deserved a much better way of life even if no one else had ever told her that. I wanted to save her because I knew she was trapped. How do I not hate those men? I still don't have an answer to that question.

As I lay on the bench at the airport almost in tears, I couldn't have been happier to see my dear friend that I have talked about in earlier post. The friend that taught me about how to live out my faith, the friend that prayed over my struggling heart, the friend that I had already said good-bye to once. As I lay there with my eyes closed I felt a little tap on my shoulder. When I opened my eyes I immediately jumped out of my seat, dropped everything that was in my lap and gave him a huge hug. Seeing as how we don't speak much of the same language he spoke the little english he knew, "I so happy. I so happy." and I repeated, "I'm so happy too." Ten minutes later we were greeted by Rebekah walking out of the gate. Before leaving for our night train to Sapa we all enjoyed an amazing meal together.

When walking towards the train we were both squealing with excitement. After talking to my brother I was expecting to walk into train cabin that crammed 6 beds in one little room. He actually told us, "It was awful. I didn't sleep at all, and I couldn't even lay sideways because the beds were so close to each other." So walking into our cabin train Rebekah and I were shocked. Our dear friend asked if he could arrange our train tickets for us, and put us in a first class sleeper. We had down beds, slippers, tooth brush, and only 4 people to a cabin. It was a wonderful little surprise.

Getting off the train the next morning we were both feeling a little tired. The trains in Vietnam are not the smoothest trains in the world. There were a few times when I thought I was going to roll out of the top bunk. I remember bracing myself with the blankets (not that the blanket would have actually helped). walking off the train we were approached by people everywhere saying, "I take you to Sapa." Not really sure who I should trust I decided to go to the lady that was handing out tickets to Sapa. I think I made the right choice.

Driving into Sapa our bus was chased buy a group of funny little tribal women already trying to sell us their beautiful blankets, shirts, toys, and fruit. Rebekah and I couldn't do anything but laugh. After walking around the town for a little while we decided to go and talk to a travel guide. She hooked us up with a two day hike and homestay for an incredible deal.

We spent all morning hiking alongside beautiful tribal women and children. It was a pretty challenging hike, and those women were by our sides to help us the whole way. They were so fun to talk to. Most of them spoke english and loved to talk about their way of life and families. Once we got to the village, where we were going to sleep, we had a nice glass of green tea with our host family and got to know the three other people that were staying in the house with us. There was a french couple and son, a girl from holland, and a boy from Germany. I felt like I was living in the hostel world in Europe all over again. It was so much fun. Our Host mom was a hoot every time she would see Rebekah and I she would yell, "Amerdica!!!" I think she might have been a little bit crazy. Right before dinner Rebekah and I decided to go and explore the river. It felt like a fairytale. 5min. after playing on the rocks and taking a few pictures I went straight for the water. I decided I might as well wash my hair since it had been a few days :). The meal that we ate was wonderful. It was probably one of the best meals that I ate in Vietnam. We were also exposed to "rice wine". It was the local wine that they drink at dinnertime in the villages. After gagging from one little glass I decided to hide my cup so that they wouldn't pour me anymore. That night the fellow travelers, Rebekah, and I all sat outside, did yoga, and talked about life, family, and struggles. It was wonderful.

Waking up the next morning my body was hurting from the hard mat that I slept on and the hiking that I had done. I crawled down the stairs of the upper loft and made my way outside to eat crepes and bananas. After breakfast we continued our hike through rice fields, villages, bamboo forest, waterfalls, and the jungle. I remember myself continually stopping in my tracks, taking a few deep breathes, and thinking, "This is so beautiful. I don't want this moment to end. I wish I could freeze time. I don't want to go home!!!!" The rest of our time consisted of shopping in tribal markets, renting motorbikes and riding them through the mountains, and enjoying creation and good friendship.

As I walked the beaches of Nha Trang I took in the feeling of the rough sand in between my toes, the smell of the rain minutes away from falling from the sky, the beautiful women selling dried squid, the faces of the children trying to earn enough money to provide for their families, the European tourist wearing swimsuits that are ity ity bity, and the strange feeling of being alone. For the first time in Vietnam I am alone. I waved good-bye to the taxi that was filled with two wonderful friends, and my mamma. I am now in this beautiful city that the Lord created for me to enjoy, and I am alone. My head and mind can now work through so many things that I have heard, seen, and done. As I think about what the Lord has taught me on this trip I am flooded with an ocean full of emotions. I have met so many people that I long to be more like, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to make the sacrifices that they daily take. I'm not bold enough to stand firm, but I long to have that boldness...I guess thats a start. My prayer is that I will become more Bold for the Lord. That my prayers will not be a mundane thing, but they will be the cry of my heart. Tomorrow I fly to Hanoi where I will meet Rebekah Angel. Together we will take a night train up to the "Eden of Asia". We will be travel to Sapa to experience the tribal way of life, trek to the highest point of Vietnam, sleep on bamboo mats, rent and try to ride motorbikes through the jungle, and eat great food. I am very excited about part of my trip. We don't have to wory about time, or be at any specific place. We are just going to explore and end up where the Lord leads us. Did I mention I really love it here...I love the people; I love the heat; I love the food; and I love the way that believers live out their faith. If I had only one more day to live, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.